just this
by amirasyed20
Summary: <html><head></head>Shiki a genius who is quite open about his being gifted is afraid to lose his new apple of the eye name Rima, traumatized of his former relationship? though talkative he turns into stone when Rima speaks to him... he spaces out and is speechless...</html>


"Good day, world!- Good day, Shiki." A morning greeting from Rima. Rima is the only daughter of the Touya family, all the other child in the family are males. She's a brat in the eyes of everyone that are said to know her but for me, she's the kindest and most unselfish person that I have ever met.

"Hey, Shiki! I just greeted you but there's no reply? That's harsh."

"I'm… I'm sorry, Rima. Good morning! " I replied. This usually happens. I mean me being speechless in front of her.

By the way, you might be wondering what I'm doing in the Touya's resident so early in the morning? Well, I work here. Not as a butler or a sitter to Rima but as her tutor. Yes! Maybe that we are just of the same age but Rima has troubles concentrating with her studies if she doesn't have anyone to look after her. So that does make me her sitter. Does it? But then again no matter what I am to her, I'm just glad to be near her at all times.

"Hey! Spaceman!" she screeched.

"Wh-what? What did you just call me?"

"Spaceman, dumb a**" she said turning around at the same time and walked close to me. She moved her face so close to mine that it made me blush so much. "_Spaceman! _That's what I'm going to call you now onwards." She added.

"What? But why? What does that mean?" I asked curiously. Is this one of her tricks to get rid of me?

"_Spaceman_, because you always space out, dummy. Always not answering directly when I ask you something. Some tutor." She said irritated

I don't know if her giving me a nickname should make me happy or embarrassed, since she noticed that I always do space out when having a conversation with her.

"Spaceman! There you go again. Is speaking to me that boring that you always do space out? Feels like I'm always talking to the air or something. Do you not want to talk to me? Because if that's the case then just say so, so that both our time would not be wasted. Are you listening now, Spaceman?"

She said and asked things that are not supposed to be asked by her. Not want to talk to her? Boring? That's not her, that's not how I see her or what I feel. The truth is I really love speaking nonsense with her (not that what she's saying are nonsense) I mean I just love speaking or talking about just anything as long as it's with her. I want to tell her these but I'm afraid of how she'll react if I did.

"Hmph! If we're not going to have the tutorial session today, then I'm leaving. You're starting to piss me off." She said that and then walked out of the big oak door angrily.

What should I do? She's so offended. I really tried to act normal when I'm with her but it seems to be the hardest thing to do. Man! What should I do? For sure she won't talk to me anymore. I'll be treated the way she treats her family? No communication and no care for them? I mean she said before as far as I can remember. These:

"You're the closest to a family that I have. You know that? I have them, but it doesn't really feel like it. Birthdays and any other occasions seem to be nothing for them. They give presents and stuffs but we don't talk. Ever since brother died it felt like I always go home to an empty house. Even in helping me with my studies, the best solution they found was you, a tutor. But thanks to their inconsideration towards my feelings. I now have you. Someone that I can talk to normally. One who'll be there to chat with me. Thank you, Shiki. Thank you so much."

Now I'm just like her family. One that she can't talk to. When did I start acting this way? Since when have I made her feel alone again? This is not how it's supposed to be. I'm supposed to be the person that'll make her feel wanted and loved so much. That's supposed to be who I am. What am I going to do now?

"Good morning, sleepy head!" a voice whispered to my ear. "It's time for school. Come on, honey or you'll be late again."

Honey? Who is this person that's calling me honey? Rima? Is that her? Impossible! It has been months after the incident. Months since the last time I've got to be close to her. You might be wondering why, right? Well. Her mother saw her with her boyfriend the time that I was supposed to be tutoring her. Not just that, she flunked all her exams which made my record look so bad that even my mom got mad at me. It was for my credentials for next year when I graduate. The damage that has been done because of my feelings towards her has been huge. Not just to her life but mostly mine. Now I'm starting a new life without her. Yes, I do see her a lot in school but we no longer interact. We just pass by one another as if we don't know each other. Classic! Because of this, almost everyday I lose the excitement in being in school and showing off my intelligence. Not to brag and all, but I'm the smartest kid in school.

"Senri. I'm not kidding. You better get up now or you'll definitely be late again and this might cause you your academic career."

I opened my eyes expecting that it was Rima. That all that had happened that time was just a dream, a terrible dream that I can wake up from. But, it was not her.

"Senri Shiki!" she shouted.

"I'm coming. I'm coming." I said standing up to go straight to the bathroom. I took a quick shower and then went down for breakfast.

"Senri, you can't keep on doing this. You understand? Your father did not die in war just to see you waste your time slacking off from school. Ok?" my mom said. She is still deeply affected with the death of my father which was sixteen years ago.

My mom is still young with the age of 33, yet she never remarried because she said that she can't disrespect my father who fought in war for us.

"I'm sorry, mom. This will be the last time that I'll over sleep. I'll do my best to wake up early everyday again starting tomorrow." As I said that I took my things and walked out of the door dragging my feet because I was not in the mood to go to school and see her again hanging out with her boyfriend in the lawn of the school.

***school***

"Babe, when will you come by my house again? I really miss hanging out with you after class and during weekends." Rika said to her boyfriend who happened to be my cousin.

"stop nagging, Rika. You know that Yuki is ill and I have to watch over her since our parents travel a lot for business."

"why can't your cousin Senri watch over her? They're close. I mean they grew up together and she's no younger than he is. Right? I'm sure that they'll have a lot of fun together."

"Stop it! Ok? I want this conversation to end."

"Gosh, Rika. Kaname really is a responsible brother. But not, much of a boyfriend." Rima teased Rika. "It's a good thing that I don't need to act like that with Aidou. Because he knows what he should do to keep me happy. Right, Aidou?"

Aidou just nodded his head. He doesn't speak much. He hates arguing with Rima because she makes a great deal out of everything that anyone would say to her. Rima is the intimate one in their relationship. She often imposes the first move. Like hugging and kissing and stuff. Aidou just enjoys the pleasure with her actions.

"Oh! Look Kaname. If it isn't your cousin, Spaceman." Rima said as I passed by their area. "The geek actually comes to school almost class time. That's new."

"Rima…" said Kaname. "Stop teasing him. It was not his fault that you flunked all the tests and that you actually ditched your tutorial just to be with Aidou. And you know that."

"Shut up!" she shouted. "I'm not upset because of that... it's just that..."

"Just what?" Kaname asked Rima looking closely to her facial expression.

"Nothing!" Rima exclaimed.

"Then why is it that it seems that way? since you tease him and act all so bitter towards him."

"Fine. I'll stop, so just shut up, Kaname." she faced Kaname angrily. " You be thankful that hell doesn't want you in it SENRI!" Rima shouted as I walked away from them.

I was thankful of what Kaname did but I didn't really mind her teasing me. At least after the whole months, she actually spoke about me. I know that it's quite pathetic but, that's just how I feel. No matter how she insults me, at least I know that I still exist in her world as much as she exists in mine.

***lunch time***

The day started of roughly but so far there's nothing that i can really complain about. Rima and i are not in the same class so my life inside the classroom is as peaceful as before the incident with Rima.

"'yo! Shiki. are you not going out for lunch? i heard that the new lunch lady cooks better than the last one and i heard that she's still young, just around our age. let's go see." a classmate of mine said. i'm not a loner type although they or some considers me a genius.

"wait. i'll just have to finish this. or you can go ahead and save me a seat,i'll follow in a while."

"okay! but don't take long or else i'll eat your lunch for youhehehe"

hmmm. lunch? maybe food will help me think for my essay and actually help me get my mind of her. i just hope that she's not in the cafeteria and doing stuffs with her boyfriend. :/

***cafeteria***

"wow! the new lunch lady really cooks well. this is the best food that i ever tasted ever since i entered this school." Takuma exclaimed. "hey! Shiki. hurry up. all the students would be here soon since they already heard about the great tasting food."

"okay! okay!" i approached the counter and suddenly i felt like my heart dropped to my stomach.

"oi! what are you doing! there are people here who wants to eat too so move it!" a student from the end of the line shouted.

"ah! i'm sorry." i walked slowly towards the counter to get my food.

"Shiki? is that really you?" the girl from the counter shouted. she took off her apron and went out of the counter. "Shiki! it's so nice to see you again." she said.

"oh! you know her?" Takuma asked.

"ah... yes." i replied. "her name's Maria..." i can't say more. i shouldn't should i?

"i'm Maria. shiki's x girlfriend." she said it! oh no!

"X girlfriend?" Takuma asked so loudly that i think everyone in the cafeteria heard him.

"shut up Takuma! not so loud." i whispered furiously.

"but is she really your girlfriend?" Takuma whispered.

"X... don't say girlfriend, we're not together anymore."

"hey! what are you two whispering about?" Maria asked, her eyebrow raising.

"Nothing." i replied.

"hey! Maria, is it?" Takuma said in a low tone. "why did Shiki and you break up?"

"Takuma, stop it!" i shouted loudly that everyone in the cafeteria turned their face towards us.

"we're sorry for the noise. please continue eating." Maria said.

"wow! that was a nice save, Maria." Takuma praised her.

"well you'll have to be like this if you want to hang around Shiki. right?" she said and on her face was a really bright smile just like the ones she always has. "'cause he's quite a trouble maker. :) "

"hey!" so far since Rima started not to pay any attention to me, this has been my happiest day in school.

***dismissal***

"oi! Maria. over here!" Takuma and Maria decided that we should all go home together.

"by the way, Maria..." i was reluctant to ask but i'm so curious so here goes. "why are you working in the cafeteria? isn't your family rich?"

"Shiki. that's too blunt. how could you ask her that?" Takuma scolded me.

"pardon me for asking that. you might just as well forget it." i said shyly. i insensitive for asking such?

"no, Takuma it's okay. i'm used to Shiki being like that. he doesn't have one bone of sensitivity in him." she said while looking at me like i'm a child who did wrong. "well to be honest and not to be boastful or anything. but i really am from a wealthy family..." she stopped as if she doesn't have the guts to tell us the reason.

"it's okay. you don't have to tell us." i told her.

"no, really, it's fine. it's just that my reason is shallow and i'm afraid that you might laugh at me or something." she said.

"promise, we won't. right, Takuma?" i said.

"well then. here goes... i... i ran away from home!" she said loudly. we all stopped walking and just stared at her. "wow! that's a relief. thanks guys. it feels so good to be able to..."

"what did you say?" i shouted before she could even finish her sentence. "are you crazy? where do you stay now? and why in the world did you run away?" i bombarded her with questions that even Takuma was petrified in shock.

"calm down Shiki. let her finish first. and would you please stop shouting all of a sudden! you're gonna give me a heart attack."

"fine." i said. "now, tell me...what happened? why did you run away?"

"i ran away because mother and father agreed for an arrange marriage for me and the son of one of the biggest company in Japan. i didn't like it so i threatened them that i would run away if they won't take it back but they didn't believe me when i said that. saying that they know me too well and that i could never try to live on my own. so i ran away early this morning to prove them wrong. bwahahaha" Maria explained and laughed like a wicked witch.

"so that's why." Takuma said. "so where do you plan to stay?" he asked.

"hmmm... that... i... don't know yet." she said smiling.

"how can you run away just like that without even having an idea to where you can stay? and you can still smile? are you an idiot?" i screamed at her but she just covered her ears.

"i'll find a place sooner or later so don't be such a worrier. as if you care." she whispered under her breath.

"if that's the case then just stay at Shiki's house for now." Takuma said as if it's the right thing to say.

"hey! who are you to invite her to stay at our house? OUR house and not yours!" i said with extreme disbelief.

"well... would you rather that she stay with me in my apartment?" he asked me. "you know Maria, i live alone so for me it would be okay if you want to stay live with me for a while." he continued.

"hey!" i shouted. "Maria! why don't you just go home and talk to your parents again?"

"i don't want to!" she shouted and started covering her ears again before i can say something. "i'm not going home. you understand?" she screamed without facing me nor Takuma.

"wow! she can really talk back to you just like that. it amazes me." Takuma said jokingly, since none in our entire area could dare to do such to a genius like me. except Rima of course because i always bite my tongue when she does.

"that's cause Shiki and i were once in love that he made me so used to speaking back at him and not scolding me at all." she said looking at me like the way she did before. that made me feel so happy. "but i guess it's quite different now. as you can see he doesn't really care about me anymore. so Takuma, can i stay with you even just for the night?"

"well. it's fine with me, if it's fine with Shiki." Takuma replied.

"fine! i said. you can stay at our house. i'll talk to my mom and explain everything." i said because i had no choice. I've known Maria for about a year and a half and i know that no one can force her to do something that she doesn't want to do.

Maria looked at me and smiled so brightly. because of her smile, i feel like i'm falling back for her.

"by the way..." Takuma said. "i'm just curious. seems like you two still like each other and care for one another, so why did you break up?" asking this? now who's insensitive? *sigh*

"hmmm... it's a wee bit complicated and quite a story." Maria said.

"oi! don't tell him. he doesn't need to know." i said immediately right before Maria can speak about it.

"ow! how awful of a friend are you?" Takuma said.

"what? what are you talking about?" i asked.

"first you didn't tell me that you've had a girlfriend and now you won't even let her tell me the reason why you two broke up? that's harsh, Shiki." Takuma said acting like a little child that was set aside by his parents.

"but that has nothing to do you, Takuma."

"tell him." Maria said. "he is your friend,right?"

"wh-?"

"then i'll tell him." she said stubbornly. "it's like this. hmmm... how should i say it... ah! the term is... he caught me cheating with his best friend."

"huh?" was all Takuma could say.

"yeah. quite shocking, huh? but it's the truth." she said. she seemed to be not happy having someone else know why we broke up but still she said it.

"you?" Takuma was stunned because Maria looks so innocent. she appears like she can't do such things but she can. she really can.

"yes! me... the one and only Maria cheated on her faithful and loving boyfriend with his now x best friend." she said proudly which is a shock to me because as far as i can remember when she explained before that it was not what i thought it was so what's this?

"you!" i screamed. "you said i just misunderstood... you..." i can't speak anymore this really is something that's too much and i can't take it.

"stop, Shiki. okay? it's in the past right? you didn't seem to remember that you were angry with me earlier, so why be angry now?"

"Maria, please stop that." Takuma said. "just because he didn't show how he truly feels earlier doesn't mean that he doesn't feel it and that he's not being troubled by it."

"Takuma..."

"well, what i said to him was true before but he didn't believe me and since his best friend was so into me and i was really hurt with him not believing me, i ended up cheating."

"wh-what?" i asked. i didn't quite get what she said.

"i said i cheated right after you broke up with me." she said looking me in the eyes with a look of pain in her face. "if you have believed me Shiki, i wouldn't have done it. you should have believed me! you know that?" Maria said sitting on the pavement and crying. "you should have..."

i can't think being a genius won't work. why? why can't i fathom this? my head hurts, my heart hurts, my whole body hurts. what's going on?

***house***

huh? what happened? where am i? am i at home? when did i get home? was it all just a dream?

"Shiki?" a soft comforting voice. who is it? "Shiki? are you awake now?"

i opened my eyes and saw...

"Rima?"

"woah! you didn't need to shout." it's her. is it really her?

"Ri-Rima?" i asked again but this time in a low tone.

"yeah. it's me."

"what? why, where? what happened?"

"you were passing by our lawn looking so pale and out of your mind then suddenly you fainted. so i asked Aidou to bring you inside."

"what?"

"hey! were you not listening to what i just said?"

"huh? i was but, what i don't remember is walking by your lawn. i was with Takuma and..." i stopped talking. Maria, was she really there with us? was i not dreaming?

"Takuma and who?" Rima asked. "anyway if you're still not feeling better you can just stay here for now and rest. it's not like you're not familiar with this household. so just rest until you feel better. okay? i'll go down to let Aidou out then i'll cook you some porridge."

what really happened? how come i was with Takuma and Maria and now i'm here at the Touya residence?

RING! RING! RING!

my phone? whose calling?

"hello?"

"Shiki?"

"hello, who is this?"

"hey, it's me, Maria."

"..."

"hello? Shiki are you still there?" she asked. "well your mom is looking for you. i'm here at your house because i wanted to talk to you but you ran away. where are you now? do you want us to fetch you?"

"stop."

"huh?"

"stop talking, Maria. tell my mom that i'm okay and i won't be coming home for tonight. i'll be back tomorrow morning. thank you"

just like that i turned off my phone. so everything was true and are not just figments of my imagination. she was here and she admitted that it was my fault why we both suffered from breaking up. why? i thought that it was all her fault, i thought that i did what i should. who's wrong? was it me or her?

***downstairs***

"oh! you came down? i thought you're not feeling well yet. anyway, you're just in time. i just finished cooking. come and eat so you'll feel better."

"ah, Rima?"

"hmm?"

"why are you nice to me? aren't you supposed to be mad at me?" i asked her out of curiosity.

"yeah. i thought i was mad. well i should have been mad because i got low grades last quarter but i realized that Kaname was right. it was never your fault. i just can't get myself to study hard enough without the help of anyone."

"just like that, you're no longer mad at me?"

"no."

"huh?"

"not just that, well you see, because i was really failing Aidou started to come around more and he helped me study. so now, i'm thankful that that incident happened because it brought me and Aidou closer."

so that's why? i made them grow closer? that's why she's no longer mad at me? i brought them closer? the person i like and the person she likes? should i be happy or not? i'm really confused.


End file.
